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A Poem Perhaps?

I thought I’d post the first draft of my Dickinson-inspired poem written for Response 4 here. I ended up writing something a little different, but want to preserve the first version. I hope everyone has a great weekend!

It may be Me – the Fool

Should no one take – my place –

Or should I heave the Rock – or roll it,

Beyond the bars of plywood gate 

I keep in store – Your every – Joy –

My Heart – engulfed – too heavy 

But still – to Jump – I fight the weight 

The Bearer, and You – devoid – but Victory

Letter-poem vs. Poem-poem

I don’t know if this is controversial, but I’ve found after reading Emily Dickinson’s poetry in depth for the first time (besides the few poems in school/on Pinterest I’ve read) that I enjoy reading her letters more. Maybe I’ve gotten so used to Whitman’s long lines that I have been indoctrinated into liking longer lines more than short ones. The complex, image dense, and emotional letters make me feel like I’m “touching” Dickinson through the paper (Whitman style). Every word feels like it belongs, like every word was specially chosen after much deliberation. Yet, the words don’t feel forced. It doesn’t feel like the letters are trying too hard, or trying to be something they’re not. They’re also sooo image dense, from start to finish I am fully enthralled. It could also be the mildly taboo nature of reading someone’s personal writings. Who knows!

Bridget’s CS for March 12

In Dickinson’s letters to Susan, or rather, “Susie,” a common subject she playfully and humorously writes of is men and their inadequacy. One instance is in Letter 73, “Vinnie is sewing away like a fictitious seamstress, and I half expect some knight will arrive at the door, confess himself a nothing in presence of her loveliness, and present his heart and had as the only vestige of him worthy to be refused.” She mocks this hypothetical man for believing that his existence is in any universe enough to offer a woman – that his value is from his existence and not excellence. 

Another instance is in Letter 85: “I do think it’s wonderful, Susie, that our hearts dont break, every day, when I think of whiskers, and all the gallant men, but I guess I’m made with nothing but a hard heart of stone”. (every day just shows how exhausting it all must be, to perform, to deal with men). 

And another in Letter 56: “We will be willing to die Susie – when such as he have gone, for there will be none to interpret these lives of our’s.” (there’s so much more to this in the letter, but some of the references I’m too unfamiliar with/there’s too much there to quote right now)

Proceeding, she begins a new paragraph – or stanza – speaking of growing old, and by the end she declares, “to be old dont seem a thing so sad” (Letter 73). Being a spinster, closed from the doings of men she so strongly wishes to be distanced from, comes as a great relief, and one seems to to propose to Susan so subtly. 

This mockery of man is just a piece of the “otherness” Dickinson felt – and Susan presumably felt as well, although maybe not to such a great degree – when writing to Susan. Dickinson, who never formally joined a church and grappled with the idea of God and religion, was also detested by the idea of Susan and her joining the church community, especially clear in a quote from Letter 77: 

“the people who love God, are expecting to go to meeting; dont you go, Susie, not to their meeting, but come with me this morning to the church within our hearts, where the bells are always ringing, and the preacher whose name is Love – shall intercede there for us!” 

The words “you” and “their” being italicized emphasize the otherness so clearly: us vs. them. Dickinson so badly wishes to stake a claim in their union, and in a way dissuade Susan from following the herd and instead remain true to her, true to Emily. She even later in the letter describes their “solitude” as their “Sabbath,” furthering the idea that “Love” is their preferred and only religion. 

In a later letter, their separation from normalcy, she writes, “the Jesus Christ you love” (Letter 73). Dickinson draws a clear distinction that this Jesus is one Susie (as referred to as “Sue” in this letter) loves, not she, making it clear Susie has joined the ones Dickinson feels so strongly against. The way she assigns Jesus to Susan – “you love” – feels like a betrayal and a line drawn in the sand, as Dickinson makes it clear it is “you,” not “and I.” 

“Susie” as a literary character in the letter-poems acts as both relief AND grief to the narrator, represented consistently as something of comfort Emily cannot have. The “otherness” is only emphasized by Susie’s absence to Dickinson, who she has repeatedly expressed feeling incomplete without, wanting to shy away from the world and hide within Susie, literally. 

“hide away from them all; here in dear Susie’s bosom, I know is love and rest, and I never would go away, did not the big world call me, and beat me for not working” (Letter 85). 

Emily relies on Susie as comfort, from not only labor, but from the expectations placed on her as a woman, as a (probably) closeted homosexual, as an “other” in her ideology and reflections, and as a woman who refuses to conform in the social comforts that the church and a man provide. Thus, Susie is the only character who truly relieves this. Dickinson makes her a metaphorical place to hide, therefore she uses her “bosom” as a physical place, making her the physical embodiment of the only “place” she can truly be herself. 

Do you think, in some way, the position Susan is forced in is unfair? Do you feel as though Dickinson is placing too much responsibility on Susan for her own comforts from the world? How has not reading Susan’s replies adjacent to Dickinson’s poems affected your understanding of them? Do you feel as though knowing her feelings towards Susan – and towards men – will affect how you continue to read Dickinson’s letter-poems?